March 30, 2006


from something i've been working on.
carmine, chromacolour, painter and photoshop

I've been a little tense lately.

so much so that about a week ago I couldn't fall asleep at all--which doesn't really happen to me. I finally drifted off at around 6am, but really we both know I should have just rode it out, stayed awake and come into work for 6--it would've got me here early, anyway.

as it was, around 4am I stayed awake and watched Adaptation, by Spike Jonze. It'd been a while and it was refreshing to rediscover how insightful and multilayered it is. The film's depiction of protagonists struggling with disappointment struck a real chord with me; the idea of whittling the world down by finding that one thing we care passionately about was helpful for keeping things in perspective.

in many ways, things have been pretty good lately, and it's worth it to remember that.disappointment, uncertainty, doubt and a little tension are all part of the game--I guess you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize.

i think that a healthy balance of attitude is helpful as far as art stuff is concerned--a mixture of confidence and humility. Too much of either and the work suffers; both, at their worst, paralysing our ability to see criticism and improvement as inevitable, necessary parts of a larger process. I suppose it's nothing any of us are too conscious of, but our feelings about our work and ourselves are in flux all the time, I think, as we're challenged and applauded. It's worth it to remember that it's all supposed to be complex; figure out what's important to you, then just whittle it down.